For the_asset

[withtheplan]

Steve didn't sleep much the previous night so it was good that he'd had a nap earlier in the afternoon, waking to find himself covered up with a blanket he didn't remember pulling over himself. He had fixed a batch of homemade chicken noodle soup for dinner, ignoring the very pointed looks that Natasha had sent in his direction, knowing she was gearing herself up for a conversation. He'd just been pleased that Bucky had eaten some of the soup even if he'd also had a couple of meal replacement bars, too.

Baby steps.

When Bucky had gone to take a shower, Natasha had taken that opportunity to firmly inform him that he was definitely, 100% making everything worse. He'd been indignant at first but when she'd simply pinned him with a stare that would have made most people wilt, he'd shut his mouth and listened.

"Give him tasks," she said. "Jobs. You can't just tell him to figure out how to be a person and expect him to know what that means. Not with how he's been conditioned." She'd given him some ideas, but he was still deeply, deeply uncomfortable with the concept of essentially ordering Bucky to do anything.

And when he'd told Natasha so, she'd told him to get the hell over himself.

Well then.

He'd lain awake all night, thinking about their conversation and then had gotten up bright and early, covering Bucky up with a blanket before making his way to the kitchen and starting the coffee, and then sitting down at the table with a pen and a notebook, jotting down the list of things Natasha had advised him to begin with, and a couple of others that he'd thought up on his own.

Comments

[withtheplan]

"I know you can fight, Buck." Steve's voice was tired. "But I'm not going to risk HYDRA getting their hands on you again. It's safer to stay here with Natasha." He glanced back at her.

She raised her eyebrows at him. "Go suit up."

[the_asset]

Bucky moved quickly toward Steve, aiming to stop him if he was going to go. The arm holding the shield fell down -- he still had it hooked on his forearm, but not quite so ready to bash anybody's heads in.

"They took me and made me this. They could do it because I'm enhanced. It would kill anybody else. And you want to walk in there without backup," he said, furious, right into Steve's face. There was more than a hint of a Brooklyn accent in this little speech.

[withtheplan]

Natasha's eyebrows rose even farther at the impassioned speech and at the way that accent slipped out and she cocked her head. She had a feeling she was seeing Bucky Barnes for the first time ever, even if only a little bit.

Steve reached out instinctively, cupping Bucky's face in his hands. "I'm enhanced, too. And I've got backup. But I won't risk you, Buck. I can't."

[the_asset]

Bucky considered biting Steve's hand, on principle, but it felt too good to be touched by him. He leaned into it instead, but his eyes were still hot and angry.

"You're an idiot. That's not what I meant. I was their perfect weapon because I was enhanced. They broke me because I could take more than anyone else. You think I'm especially weak, Stevie, or just that you're immune?" he said.

And then, wounded, furious, confused:

"I'm your backup."

[withtheplan]

The fact that Bucky didn't pull away from his touch was good, he thought, even if he did still look as pissed off as he can ever remember seeing him. A soft, wounded noise escaped him at the familiar nickname that Bucky had only used one other time since they'd been reunited. "They're not after me. They're after you. They're trying to get you back and I'm not gonna let that happen."

"James, he's right, as much as I hate to admit it." Her voice was quiet. "Right now you're the one they're after. The plan is to catch them off guard. They don't know that the Avengers are coming after them. If you go, Steve will be worried about you the entire time. He'll be distracted. Distracted is what gets people killed."

[the_asset]

When Steve spoke, Bucky just got more furious. His heart was pounding so fast and he felt nervous tension in all his muscles. HYDRA wanted him back--he was going to captured and taken back, they were coming after him and--they were coming after him now, but if they figured out how much better Steve was, they'd want him. They'd take him. And Steve wasn't listening, he never listened--

When Natasha spoke, he listened enough for his eyes to open even wider. The fear that had thrummed under the rage this whole time bloomed and became the more vivid emotion. He looked at her over Steve's shoulder.

She was right, fuck. Steve was so focused on him, it would be an enormous distraction in the field. They'd have to work on emotional distance when he got back.

"You trust his team?" he barked at her.

[withtheplan]

"With my life," Natasha said without hesitation. She met Bucky's eyes, holding his gaze and giving him a slight nod of reassurance. She shifted her gaze to Steve, thinking that emotional distance was going to be absolutely necessary for both him and for Bucky if they were going to get through this both relatively in tact.

"Go get ready. They're leaving in fifteen," she said to Steve, folding her arms across her chest.

Reluctantly he let his hands drop away from Bucky's face and resisted the urge to pull him into a hug. Instead, he turned and headed down the hall to get suited up.

[the_asset]

Bucky didn't let Steve get too far before grabbing him by the shoulder with the metal arm and yanking him back. He leaned in and pressed a clumsy, closed mouth kiss somewhere between the corner of Steve's lips and his cheek.

"Come back," he said, and glared at Steve harder. "And I did that because I wanted to. Being a person."

He pushed Steve's chield into his chest quite hard, possibly enough to make him stumble. Then, he turned on his heel and stalked back into the depths of the apartment.

[withtheplan]

Being grabbed and kissed -- even if it wasn't on the lips -- wasn't something he'd been anticipating and the dazed expression on his face was a dead give away of that. The shield dug into his chest as he stumbled backwards just a little, also not having expected that, either. He blinked a few times. "Okay," he said, voice hushed as he watched him go.

Natasha simply gave him a knowing look and shooed him away to go get ready, his mind still spinning.

[the_asset]

Bucky was unconcerned with the shock on Steve’s face, too caught up in his anger and worry. He went right to the mess he’d left in the kitchen and got on his knees to sort through it— not cleaning up, but looking for the largest piece of sharp glass he could find. He needed to have a weapon and Steve had removed all the other blades in the apartment.

[red_ledgered]

Natasha said nothing as he retrieved one of the glass shards from the floor. He was scared, underneath the anger. For good reason. She did crouch down, though, so they were closer to eye level. "Do you want to go to my floor or the gym?" she asked.

[the_asset]

Bucky met her eyes, tensing and wrapping his metal hand around the sharp glass shard. But then it occurred to him—she could obviously tell what he was doing and she made no move to stop him. She could be an ally.

He looked at her contemplatively and then decided to go for it.

“Armory, then gym.”

[red_ledgered]

She could see him tense as he realized she'd seen what he was doing. But at his response, her lips curved into the ghost of a smile and she nodded, rising to her feet once more and holding her hand out to help him up.

"Let's take care of your feet first and get you some shoes on," she suggested.

[the_asset]

He was pleased when nodded, feeling a surge of fondness that was able to peek out into a smile even through all his rage and fear.

“Socks will soak up the blood, I just need boots,” he said briskly, standing up. He considered dropping the shard of glass but he decided that even though something in his gut trusted her, she hadn’t gotten him another weapon yet. He’d keep this one until he was properly outfitted. He stuck it in the pocket of his sweatpants.

He hoped Steve kept the heavy pair of combat boots that Bucky had been wearing when Steve retrieved him. He walked with purpose, not looking back at Natasha or paying any attention to the trail of blood.

[red_ledgered]

"All right. I'll wait out here." She watched him head down the hall and then looked around at the mess. Well. Tony was definitely going to need to replace the carpet.

Blood stains weren't easy to get out.

[the_asset]

Bucky methodologically searched Steve’s closet for clothes that would be suitable for combat. He used one of Steve’s running shirts as a base layer, but he couldn’t fit into Steve’s pants. Bucky was thicker in the hips, apparently.

All Steve had purchased for him were sweatpants. They had to do. He couldn’t find his old boots, but he took a pair of Steve’s.

He walked back out and barked at Natasha, “Armory.”